Cartman's Blog
by Taldaini
Summary: Here's a blog journal about cartman's life at 16. New guy, new friends, new plot twists. Updated everyday so that way we can treat it like a real blog. If you want to see how much of a loser I am there really is a blog it's http:cartmanslife.
1. 70306

July 3, 2006 

Okay, this is my blog! If you don't know me, my name is Eric Cartman. I'm a junior at South Park High School. I'm 16 years old and what people call "Emo." My best friends are Stan Marsh, star football player, Kyle Brovlowski, Jew and going to be a popular painter, Kenny McKormick, poor goth kid. We're a mis-matched bunch I know but we've been best-friends since kindergarden. I used to be the "Fatass" of the bunch back in elementary school but I've slimmed way down. The red jacket was also not very appealing to me. Now you catch me in anything other than my band shirts, ripped jeans, and trenchcoat. It was the first day of school today. Another year, another batch of freshman to put up with. This year's bunch is bad. They think that they can take us! HAHA NO! Think again freshmeat, I could crush you with my bare hands! Anyways...away from the freshman. I have a secret for y'all...I have a new crush! Okay, that sounded girly but anyways. His name is Justin, he's new this year from Syracuse, New York, wherever the hell that is. Anyways, he's fucking gorgous! I can't tell my friends this because if they found out I was gay they'd totally rip on me. I know we're best friends but we treat eachother like shit. It's been this way for as long as I can remember. I rip on Kyle, Kyle and Stan rip on me, and we all rip on Kenny for being poor. Oh well I guess that's just the way life goes. Well that's all for now! I will see y'all later!

**Your death is at 4:40 AM**


	2. 70406

7/03/06

Okay, second day with the blog! W00t! Well nothing new today. Found out that me and Justin share 2 classes! Yes! New friend here I come! Unless what I did in the past comes back to bite me in the ass...fucking karma. Anyways. I was hanging with Stan, Kyle, and Kenny in between classes as I usually do and Wendy Testaburger, Stan's all too perfect girlfriend, comes to join us. God I hate her! I don't know why I do but I do. Maybe because she's a cheerleader that thinks killing animals for food is bad. That raising cattle for food is the worst thing you can do. HELLO! They're bred for that! That profit keeps someone else's kids from going hungry! Okay I'm done with the ranting. I got a new hair-do! Since my hair hangs almost to my top lip...I straightened it and set it into the emo flip! Y'all know the emo flip! It's where you throw your bangs to one side so it covers your eye! I think it looks cute on me and a bunch of people complimented me on it. The guys of course called me a "fag," they're so naïve! Oh well... But it even caught Justin's eye...maybe I should start attending that gay/straight club that they've started...see who's there...don't let any of the guys know though...naïve fucking assholes!

**Your death is at 8:13 AM**


	3. 70506

7/04/06

Okay, again a pretty basic day. Just chilling at school...Justin's being ripped on by everyone...except me of course! I feel bad for him. I think I should go up and talk to him but what would I say and I know that I'm going to make a complete and total ass out of myself. I don't want to do that. Why am I always so spaztic around guys that I like? Maybe I now know how Stan felt back in fourth grade when he first started crushing on Wendy Testaburger. I can't remember the number of times he barfed on her and she still loves the guy. Maybe Justin's like Wendy and will still love me no matter what. I'm scared to find out. What if he's not even gay? What if all my trying is going to be futile...idk...the gay/straight alliance is meeting tomorrow. I'm going to go and see if he's there and, if not, see how many of the other sexy guys in this podunk little school are gay. It would be great to get a boyfriend. I'm tired of being lonely and I'm the only one out of the 4 of us that hasn't lost his virginity yet and it's pissing me off! The guys know that and they're starting to whip out the "Maybe he's gay" jokes and I'm about to just come out and say that I am. We'll see what happens. Oops there's the bell, I got to go. Talk to y'all later!

**Your death is at 7:24 AM**


	4. 70606

7/05/06

Hey! Okay again a pretty basic day...just chillin at school with my friends. Justin's still getting shit from everyone. Even Wendy! That makes no sense...Wendy isn't mean to anyone but me. Maybe that cheerleading outfit has turned her into a true bitch. Anyways. Today is the Gay/straight Alliance meeting and I am kind of excited about it! I really can't wait to see who's there. I hope Justin's there. I want to talk to him...maybe I'll do that tomorrow if he's not at the meeting. I think he is gay, or at least bi because I've seen him staring at guys. Does he ever stare at me? OH oh oh! New hair! I dyed my hair blonde with red and green in the fringe! It looks totally awesome! The guys think it's "gay" but fuck them! I love it! Thank you Bebe! I could kiss you but that would be awkward and Tweek would kill me...if he got over his twitchyness. Anyways...I'm going to go before I get yelled at for being on a site that's not the one for our programming class. See y'all tomorrow!

**Your death is at 7:24 AM**


	5. 70706

7/06/06

Well the gay/straight meeting was great! I saw a bunch of people I wouldn't expect to be there. Like Tweek and Craig! They were eating eachother's faces! That was wierd! Justin was there but I chickened out in talking to him again! I hope no one says that I was there. I don't need that right now. My mom's being even more of a whore now. I'm really getting fucking tired of her shit. Oh well, she's a grown woman I can't tell her what to do. Justin's still getting shit...I think I'm going to talk to him at next week's meeting. I don't know why I'm so scared to talk to him. I've never had a problem with talking to guy's I liked before. Sure it never turned into anything but still. Maybe this new discovery that he might be gay is scaring me more. The meeting is a safe place to meet people and they won't give me shit because they're the same way. Still worried about the guys finding out. I don't want to deal with their shit either. Well we'll see how things go. Talk to y'all tomorrow!

**Your death is at 8:52 AM**


End file.
